Finding my way...

the habit of eating...

well - i have been learning alot about myself over the past two weeks... I already knew I was ALWAYS HUNGRY and ALWAYS EATING... that was an issue.. as part of a new medical overhaul plan for myself - with my new Dr... I am taking an appetite suppressant (Phentermine) to jump start my new eating plan and health regime... It has been an eye opening experience for me.. I have not been hungry... since taking it... and I have noticed the habit of eating.... even though my body doesn't tell me I am hungry, i have this overwhelming need to eat... - it has been so weird.. i catch myself all day thinking, i should be eating right now... it feels strange not to be eating right now..  and it is a strong feeling...  Now I eat breakfeast, lunch and dinner.. I am talking about all the time in between... every hour...every minute... it has become such a habit for me... I now realize that I was not listening to my body at all... and was eating(snacking) from purely habit... I remember talking to an ex-smoker once who said one of the hardest things about quitting was the habit of smoking.. what to do w. their hands... the rituals of sitting down and smoking... it was just as hard as the actual addition to nicotine...

strange......I don't have any cravings except for the fact that I want to be stuffing my face... mentally... i know it is so bizzare. I hope that after this is said and done ( I can only take this stuff or 3 months...) that I have overcome this awful habit and addiction to eating... and learn to only eat when my body signals me that it needs it...

21 days... right? if i can stick w. it for 21 days.. maybe the new way of only eating when i am hungry will become a new habit... 40 years of overeating is hard to overcome in just 3 weeks.. but I am gonna try -

:just keep swimming... just keep swimming... good ADVICE

what do dreams mean.......

Well i had the most bizzare dream last night and it was very real and very vidid... I was visting two diff funeral homes... in the same business complex. I went to the first one and everyone was very serene, respectful, loving and quiet - i watched as they cleaned, prepped and dressed the bodies for viewing and burial.. the people were very caring and took great care to be respectful at all times. I was not scared or grossed out - I was quietly watching...  I had a great sense of peace..

Then i went over to the next place, it was a rushed environment... people were scattering around... the place was a mess, bodies everywhere, unorganized.. the people were not calm by any means.. there was shouting and anger. They rushed me out of the room when one of the bodies sat up straight.. and raised his hand (an elderly gentlemen) - and gave a big sigh... they rushed to push him down and told me to get out of the room... it was at this time, that I woke up..

I did not recognize any of the people there... i don't remember much about any of the dead people except the one who moved and sighed... he was an elderly man, someone's grandpa i kept thinking...

so strange... eh..

itty bitty birdie feet.......

Well, I went out front today to water my little zucchni plants... (they are so cute, i planted them a week ago.. we have to build a big box for them soon as they are growing fast!)

and i heard this chirping... and some rustling.. then i noticed 5 small birds hopping around in the rocks in my front yard, one was hopping on my house... yeh hopping up the side of my stucco... i looked up and noticed a birds nest in our tree.. How cool is that!! I tried to get some pictures but the birdies are skiddish.... i don't know if these are the babes, or just family and if there are eggs in the nest or what.. who knows.. but is it a fun thing to watch, i stood outside for quite awhile to watch and get some pictures...                i could not get a good close up of the nest the little suckers would not let me close enough.. hahah

  one of them starting to fly towards me when i was taking a picture...  scared me alittle.. hahahaha

this is a pic on my neighbors window...

itty bitty birdie feet.......

Well, I went out front today to water my little zucchni plants... (they are so cute, i planted them a week ago.. we have to build a big box for them soon as they are growing fast!)

and i heard this chirping... and some rustling.. then i noticed 5 small birds hopping around in the rocks in my front yard, one was hopping on my house... yeh hopping up the side of my stucco... i looked up and noticed a birds nest in our tree.. How cool is that!! I tried to get some pictures but the birdies are skiddish.... i don't know if these are the babes, or just family and if there are eggs in the nest or what.. who knows.. but is it a fun thing to watch, i stood outside for quite awhile to watch and get some pictures...                i could not get a good close up of the nest the little suckers would not let me close enough.. hahah

  one of them starting to fly towards me when i was taking a picture...  scared me alittle.. hahahaha

this is a pic on my neighbors window...

Adventure Weeked!

Wow... the Peterson family sure had an adventure this weekend! We met some friends Fri night to celebrate her birthday! We had to cut it short (10:30pm) as our sitter was feeling sick... I did get in some dancing before we had to leave.. it was a blast! I love love love to go dancing...

Saturday morning Jeff and I both got up and went on separate bike rides... I went on my rode bike around the loop here - just a 5 miler.. it was way to hot for anything more.. at 8am in the morning (i know, sounds crazy!) Jeff got up around 10 and went on his mountain bike on an 11 mile trek - that he started doing last week with a friend... We went to our local community center at noon to hand out flyers and get the word out about the Anthem Relay for Life event here in Anthem... We handed out hundreds and hundreds of flyers... i only had 2 people refuse a flyer... one lady was completely rude and it was a bit shocking, I have to say... We are so passionate about this cause it stings alittle when someone is so rude as she was... We let the boys swim at the water park while we stayed inside at the Community Center handing out flyers... The walls are all glass... and they came and checked in with us every 30 minutes for about an hour and a half.. After that, we joined them for a few hours @ the pool.. Hank is now going on the high dive! And they both are going on the infamous "green slide" that they have been afraid of every year since we have been coming to the water park.. It was a fun day!

We grilled for dinner and then hopped on our bikes to our friends house to feed their dogs while they were out of town. When we finished, Hank suggested that we take a different route home, so we agreed... As we rode down a street in our neighborhood... we saw a man in his driveway, obviously shaken up, asking for help, saying he was confused and was drinking from the garden hose... it was a bit unnerving. So we stopped and asked him if he was ok... we immediatly realized he was not... he was hallucinating... not making any sense - it was just so strange, at first, i was thinking is this a joke? this is how bizzare it was... he was asking for water, saying things completely out of context and really schzito like.. we sent the boys a few houses down to another friends house to get some water. We realized no one else was home, he was visiting from out of state.. he had on two shirts, a sweatshirt and a bathing suit and shorts... we got him to take off the sweat shirt and other shirt and sit down on the side walk.. Now i have to admit... i thought he was tripping on some hallucinigen(sp) i really did.. I said to him, "please do not be offended... but did you take any drugs, did you smoke pot?" I knew that this reaction could not have been from just smoking pot (i refuse to discuss how i know that.. hahah) anyway - he said he smoked pot but when i asked him how much he said a bowl.... needless to say he was not making sense... so we tried to get a number from him for the people who lived in this house... He asked me to go into the house w. him and of course i refused.. all sorts of crazy ideas were going through my head, seriously, i could imagine walking in and seeing the owners dead.. or whatever..  he held onto my hand and would not let go.. he was seriously distraught and confused... and vomiting... So we called 911... short story ending.... when they arrived, they assessed that he must be severely dehydrated and hallucinating... he was at the point of almost passing out by the time they arrived.. he kept telling me he wanted to go to sleep... i told him to hang on and we were getting help.. he was afraid of the police.. and did not want to be on the news.. again... hallucinating and not making sense... His friends arrived as the paramedics were checking on him... they were shocked to say the least...  they had gone out to dinner..  They said that he was in the hot sun all day for 2 days with them going door to door for thier job selling water softner stuff... and that he was a good christian kid and would never smoke pot... He did tell me he was 23... So they took him away... I was really shook up and just could not get him off my mind... Stan is his name... I have been praying for him. We rode up to their house last night to see if he was home and doing ok... no one was home, so we left a note w. our phone #... We will try again, I need to see that he is ok... We sent the boys to our friends house while we waited with Stan - needless to say it sparked alot of family talk that night...

Ah Sunday.... the boys were so anxious for Jeff to get up... we let him sleep in and when he got up - they had a song planned - Hank played the guitar (think... da dun dun dun dun) - and Will sang.. it was adorable.. they had originally planned to secretly hook up the amps in our room in the morning and blast us awake w. the guitar... luckily they asked me the night before... and i said NO! hahhahah can you imagine... what a riot..

they made muffins for Dad... And we spent the entire day being LAZY... we watched sports ALL Day..... we read books.. we played the wii (well not me. but the boys did)... We ordered out for dinner (Streets of NY delivers yay!) it was a nice lazy day just hanging out together as a family!

oh and about 10 loads of laundry........ and Jeff ironed 16 shirts for work... so he won't have to iron for the next 3 weeks.

Daddy.......

As Father's day fast approaches, I find myself thinking about Jeff - the wonderful qualities I see in him as a father. I am so blessed that he  is the father of my children.  A father's presence, guidance, love and attention is so critical in a child's life - boys or girls... and as I see other children, I can sense those who do not have a strong fatherly influence... some have absent fathers... some have fathers in the home, but who are not really there or engaged in their child's life... and I weep for them, I really - i see the sadness.. i see that "something" that they are missing... and it makes me even more thankful for Jeff and his love for our family. We are his top priority... bar none.. we are who and what he wants to spend his time on and with...

Dads have a special role in the family unit... They are the strong one who makes us all feel safe... nothing calms a hysterical scared child like the big loving arms of a strong Dad who can kill any monster in the closet, or smoosh any bug.... he calms us when we hear a strange noise in the middle of the night.. he cleans up kid puke... Jeff has always been in 100% we have never had any arguments or issues on who does what, or who's responsible for what... we just work hard together and get the job done... We did agree early on in our relationship that I would clean up all the dog puke if he would clean up kid puke.. as I didn't think I could do it.. hahahh - So far, its worked out... I will spare you all those details..

Dads give kids the courage to try new things, to go that extra mile, take that extra step just beyond their comfort zone... while mom's want to hold on and (especially me) ... Dads hold on so the kids can step out... and now they will be safe... This is HUGE - it build confidence in these little ones...

Dads rough house... they wrestle, joke, kick, punch, play and aggravate all with loving eyes... and kids need this too.. .very often i leave the room when the  boys and their dad get to wrestling... i always fear something will break.. or someone will break... i have to let boys be boys.. .and Jeff helps me do that..

He reminds me that boys are boys... and it's all normal... our boys look up to him - they thrive to please him and see his approval... it's amazing how they constantly love to show their dad what they can do...

He steps in with incredible patience when I have had enough and want to strangle them... he seems to just know when I need to walk away... We do work well together that way.

He shows them right and wrong by his example every day. He teaches them to honor their mom in many ways and to respect family... he talks to them about how to handle bullies... Dads build confidence... they just do...

He takes them on adventures... boys need adventures... they need to save the princess... go on crusades... he gives them this in a safe way - so they don't seek this in other areas ....

He keeps them in line... and he LOVES them... he just loves them... stinky socks and all... He guides them in the way to become a man of honor... and he encourages them to always do their best... to be in 100%... He is teaching them a strong work ethic.. and he teaches them how to have fun...

I find myself just staring at the three of them in awe, thanking God each day for my blessings... We always discuss, review and revise our parenting styles to adapt to the every changing ways of the kids.. and the world...

He makes me feel safe, loved and like the most important person in his world... He doesn't usually read my blog, and I quote "Why would I read it.. I am living it.." hahah.. he has a point...

So this Father's day I will strive to show him how much he is appreciated and loved! and hope to keep it going every day, just not once a year...

oh yeh and did I mention that he cooks! and that is is HOT! hot girls.. .very hot!

ily jcp!

tomatos

ahh.. there is no better taste than a home grown tomato... a store bought tomato just cannot compare... I don't know what makes the difference - but it's true. We have a friend with a great garden and she has been giving us many vegetables and man they are all so delish! I have been wanting a garden since we moved back to AZ - and it just hasn't been the right timing due to one thing or another.. plus there is the slight fact that  I am not a big green thumb....

I did plant these tomato plants a few weeks ago.. in the hopes of starting something... We have an elaborate plan for a garden, but that is a project for December... we still have to finish the back yard project first! 

WaRp SpEeD, birthdays... and Emergency Room and Instant Death

Warp drive is a form of faster-than-light propulsion in the fictional universe of Star Trek, capable of propelling spacecraft or objects to many multiples of the speed of light but avoiding the problems of time dilation.

this is the pace of our life lately.. WARP speed... lots of sports, music... swimming, games, snacks, sun and more sun... oh yeh and a ton o' hockey... Hockey season ended on Saturday...

Friday we had a b-day sleep over for Will.. he invited 3 friends and we pitched a ginormous tent in the front living room (took up the ENTIRE room!... just enough room to walk by it.. good thing we only have one piece of furniture in it...

So sleep over in the tent! Dinner out (he chose Chinese food) and then to Cold Stone for Ice Cream.. honestly the kids were great.. and so darn cute all together...! Hank spent the night @ a friends house to give Will is own time!

<taken w. my cell phone!>

This is Will @ the park this week posing for a family pic!

The next morning was donuts @ the big park!! with all the kids!!!  a GREAT birthday party!! so much more fun and less expensive than the days of Chucky Cheese.. and a whole lot less annoying! hahah

Summer is about scheduling the Wii, the Tv, reading and swimming.. visiting friends, going to the park.. and chores... so far so good. I am getting used to the noise again, as I was enjoying the quiet while they were @ school. I am able to take a break now and then through out the day and go for a swim w. them.... that part has been very nice!

Backyard project on going... Jeff has been working HARD in the hot sun.. and I was lounging it up @ the movies to see Sex and the City with the gals on Sunday.. GREAT movie... if you love the show, you will LOVE The movie.. i cried a few times.. imagine that?! hahah

I cannot believe it has been nine years since i gave birth to this little man... he is such a joy... a 9 year old with the smart a$$ "ness"  of a 30 year old.. hahahah

He tested into the gifted program for 4th grade this coming school year... we are so proud of him! Happy bday Will!

Will Quote: "Hey Mom... would you lik e to meet Instant Death and Emergency Room"? as he lifts his arms to show me his muscles! All the boys named their muscles... their "tickets to the gun show" as they say!!

boyz rule!~