A day in the life

beliefs......

well, this was not the post I intended to write in my head... I usually start thinking about what I am going to post as a way of dumping out the data in my head... then I just typed this title.. I believe I have posted this before or something like it...but it is has been on my mind alot lately.. This is the bare your soul, truth - straight from the heart sort of thing.........

There are certain truths (truths to me that is) that I hold on to and whole heartedly believe.. God is real.  I know it. I can't explain to someone who has never seen a miracle or who has never felt the presence of God, or who has never prayed - (btw, that doesn't always mean getting the answer you want... sometimes that is a good thing.. heheh - we don't always know what is best for us)... I can't explain to someone - who needs to see something to believe it.. or someone who has yet to experience any of the above. Somethings, I just "know"... Now I am not a gullible person by any means - in fact, I am very logical (and very emotional... a strange combination) - but things have to make sense logically for me - before I can accept them fully.. except - this one thing. God is real.

Now - the rest - is up for grabs... the different faiths... the different doctrines and by faiths and doctrines, I don't just mean the Christian faith, what about buddism.. what about Judaisms... and so many more... And do I have to choose one faith? do I have to choose one tradition, or doctrine or religious practice? Can i just believe in God? and live my life accordingly.. most of the "do's and don't's are the same... the basic 10 commandments with a few add on's - or varations... I am not planning on murder... I am not planning on stealing... do I lie? I can't say that I have never lied.. .and that i will never lie - circumstances dictate that to a degree... especially when you have kids right? - I can say, I will strive for appropriate honesty... whenever possible... (i know that sounds like situational ethics.. but fact of life, i believe).

what i do crave, is the coming together of people with similiar beliefs - the common bond, the traditions, hanging on to those traditions in tough times can be comforting.  I cannot put on my faith in any one man or great leader here in planet earth, i have seen too many leaders fall (fall hard, i might add) and too many folks devastated in the wake, as they had put all of their faith in that one person... to risky for dissapointment as we are all only human... not perfect. But God is perfect.

I like the singing.. I like the bible, I like the preaching or teaching... I don't like getting up early on a Sunday morning as this is MY only day of REST... but what is 1.5 hours out of my day really? I want our kids to grow up with a foundation of faith... true faith  - and not just believing cuz Mom says so... they have to own it - but I have to expose them to it.... and it's no guarantee.. just because they are in the youth group that they will get into trouble...  i know that being super active in my youth group kept me out of some real trouble and then again, got me into more real trouble, just  a different  kind... - i can't hold onto that baggage forever can I?

I know I am just rambling here -just dumping thoughts... i guess i am saying, i want to go to church more, just gotta get my tired butt outta bed.. and rally the troups... it is a scary world out there when you have kids - and I will go to great lengths to give them the tools, and skills needed to survive those teenage years... whatever it takes... :0

seriously sad....

read CNN.com daily to get a dose of the news as I cannot stand the local news… Here is my commentary

TODAYS HEADLINES

'Hannah Montana' uses body double in concert

-          Seriously this is news enough to make CNN.com…  WTF people – this isn’t Tigerbeat magazine is it?

Prosecutor: O.J. Simpson violated terms of bail

So now is there a pool going  - you know, like  baby pool, or football pool.. to see when he f%% up again… unreal – and WHO CARES about him anymore… just lock him –already

Cells, texting give predators secret path to kids

Another teacher having se$ with her student… this is beyond gross.. I would rather give birth through my nose than even consider something as gross as this.. HOMESCHOOLING is looking more and more appealing!

High tech porn player on display

On demand Po$n?… seriously, we need it RIGHT Fi=-ing NOW Today?? (what movie quote)…

Help for Britney Spears

Oxymoron.

the biggest loser...

Well it is so typical... first of January - everyone is on the weight loss wagon... including me...

Mine started the week before Christmas... i know... a crazy time to start... I started out following the total health makeover by Marilu Henner.. I went 7 days w. no dairy, no red meat, no sugar... and it was easy, actually... i didn't miss most of it and i felt great. Lost 9 lbs right away.. then i slacked off over Christmas... ate what I wanted to.. more than I should and gained 3 lbs back... I am back on track. I am not following her 30 day to the letter... but I have cut out diary and sugar and cut way way back on red meat... We had cheeseless pizza over the holidays and we both found out that we actually like it better... who knew...

So Jeff and I are back on WW - tracking points, eating proportionaly... ever our kids are eating healthier.. funny story: We stopped the whole "sugary" cereal thing w. the kids about 3 months ago... not more lucky charms.. or cocoa puffs.. if they want cereal, it's cheerios or kix... period.. And after a few grunts and groans they got used to it.. no complaints... They had a sleep over at their friends house the other night... when they got home, I asked them about their time @ Zach's... in the course of the conversation, Will told me that he had lucky charms for breakfast.. I commented that wow that must have been a treat.. he said - Well they had cocoa puffs but that was just way to sugary for me... so i had the lucky charms..  Hey - they are listening aren't they? I thought that was so cute!

I am down to 202 lbs... started out at 209... I turn 40 this year and I want to be 40 and Feel fabulous.. i know I won't be at my goal weight (125ish) by April - but I will be well on my way... my goal is by Christmas time next year I will be at my goal weight and we will have a family photo done.. I have been avoiding the "family" picture b/c of how I see myself... fat.. sad but true...

Jeff is on board as well - which helps since he is the cook. The kids enjoy eating healthy and make good choices, which is so important to me... We don't want them making the same poor choices... Apples, Oranges, Celery w natural pnut butter for snacks... much bettter than processed foods... or chips or candy.. That is not to say, they do ask for that stuff every  now and then... which every now and then is ok..but they are asking themselves 'is this a healthy choice" - which is the whole point right?

walked 3 miles last night as a family... felt great! I am going to try yoga today w. the boys! that should be interesting. They have been asking me for awhile to do it w. them!

We have a contest in our family right now of about 7 people - the biggest loser family style. For the next 8 weeks we will track our weight loss and the biggest loser wins a pile of donated cash and a free dinner out.. and the pleasure of looking and feeling great!

loving the rye berries btw.!

it's a new day

in my youth, i always loved the fall. The crips september air, the lingering of a summer tan. The time of new beginnings. A new school year, a new chance for friends, new clothes... new grades... new books, new shoes, new everything... it was always like my time for new beginnings, much like New Years Day would be for adults... I remember going shopping in the mid summer, picking out my new wardrobe for the school year. a new pair of sneakers, a new pair of regular shoes... new pants and shirts or sweaters for each school day... i would try them all on... choose what to keep and then my mom would put things on layaway.. (does layaway even exist anymore?)... each pay-day she would go down and pay on my new beginnings... How fun was that new week of school.. a new outfit every day... new teachers, new subjects.. new books.. new kids... the clean slate to start over, get great grades.. be popular, etc... all those things that seem important to a teen...

i am not really sure what prompted that little tangent tought today... maybe the idea of putting the past year behind me... putting away the holiday decorations... starting the house on a clean slate...  no clutter... we have several rooms now that are clutter freee and i really enjoy sitting in those rooms and soaking in the peaceful feeling. Clutter is an energy sucking thing... material possesions can be the same... too many - and it seems to suck the life... too little.. and people tend to feel deprived. I have really come to realize these things are just things....  most of them, i can take 'em or leave 'em.. i have a few cherished items that i would surely miss... my bible, my picture of my parents, love letters from Jeff, love notes and poems from the boys... a few saved letters from close friends when i was diagnosed w. cancer.. come to think of it... those aren't really material things... i do love love my leather couch, love seat and chair? but i can live with it out... i would't run back into a fire to get it... i would for my pictures... bible and love letters and poems...

i don't have a list of resolutions... that never seems to work.. i do have list of goals... (maybe it will be easier to stick to them if they are goals.. right?)

become healthy.... eating, exercising, mentally and physically

nurture and grow my spiritual side

learn to play guitar

control my finances and start agressively saving for the not so distant future

be in the moment... this is a biggie.. so many times i am preoccupied that i just go through the moments.. like a zombie... i pledge to be in the moment and relish it... really listen and experience what is happening around me...

declutter declutter....this is a must for my mental health...

i would like to try yoga........

so while, i don't have a fancy new wardrobe or new shoes, or new books.. it is still a new beginning for me.. and i am excited... (well i'd be more excited, if i wasn't so tired.. hahha)